#Trust30 out of Order Prompt Too Scary

#Trust30
Out of order Prompt
The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.

(Author: Mary Jaksch)

What is too scary to write about? There are so many things that are too scary to write about. Thoughts, feelings, actual reactions to things that go on about you, what you are deep down, who you are deep down inside, allowing someone inside far enough to see a little of the real you and then watch them leave after a single glimpse.

How about the reaction to that single glimpse
Or the realization you get when you are doing housework items and the mind is racing and you are porpoising between manic energy and just wanting to lie down and sleep until it all goes away (which it never will but the heart does not understand that temporal concept), until it is all better. That the world is safe, your family is fine, you can sell your house without losing it, you have work that fulfills and pays the bills. Or about the anguish inside your heart because you are not contributing to the family income, you are not a man because you are not finding work after 2 months of looking since you were laid off due to budget cuts in funding coming into the agency you worked at, how the pain inside of all things to create and then you just sit at the laptop and are drowned in inertia, how that all feels inside, with no one to share it all.

TMI, that is too painful to discuss for us all I suspect.